- Dan Randall, Managing Life's Stresses, River Falls, WI
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STRESS Management Monthly Tip
July 2010
Seek first to understand –
There are many times that we get upset with other people because our needs are not being met. For example when a service staff is taking too long to deliver the food, the person in front of you is driving much too slowly and backing up traffic, someone is not returning your phone call, email or text message about something that is important to you and the list goes on. In situations like these we often tend to get stressed because we can see these people doing or not doing something that directly affect us. Many times there is a simple and logical reason for what is happening. It’s just that we don’t see it. The slow delivery of food could be caused by problems with the ovens in the kitchen or that the food you have requested takes longer to prepare. The slow driver could be experiencing car problems and does not want to risk going faster, or maybe the driver is going 55 in a 55 MPH zone they think that driving the speed limit is fast enough.
The person not returning your communications could be experiencing problems with their phone or internet connection, or they or the others are just so overwhelmed with things going on in their lives that they just aren’t able to do any more than what they are presently doing. All of us at one time or another have done or not done something that upsets another person without knowing we are doing it. Give the person the benefit of the doubt, and in time you’ll probably find out that they had a perfectly good reason for doing or not doing. Seek to understand their side of the situation, and in most cases you’ll get less upset and stressed.
